Let’s be honest: love is weird. It’s glorious, magical, soul-affirming – but also full of snoring, farting, and arguing about who left the bin lid half open. So when it comes to anniversaries, why settle for a card with roses, violins and some weepy sonnet lifted from a third-rate Valentine’s Day movie?

You need something bold. Something inappropriate. Something that says, “I love you despite the way you eat crisps.” You need a funny anniversary card.

And lucky for you, we’ve got a whole collection that will make your other half laugh, blush, and question their life choices. All in one beautifully designed A6 card. Let’s explore some of our finest examples of romantic anarchy, shall we?

1. The Longest One Night Stand Ever

Still going strong? Congratulations, you’ve upgraded your one-night stand into a full-blown domestic admin partnership. Celebrate with our Longest One Night Stand Ever card. It’s sentimental, in the way a kebab at 2am is sentimental.

2. It Ain’t Gonna Suck Itself

What’s romance without innuendo? It Ain’t Gonna Suck Itself is equal parts hilarious and bold. Perfect for the partner who’s not afraid of some suggestive sass on the big day.

3. Well Done For Lasting This Long

If you’ve made it past the two-year mark without googling “how to fake your own death,” treat them to our Well Done For Lasting This Long card. Because staying in love is an achievement. Especially if you share a Netflix account.

4. I’ll Eat Your Sausage

Vegetarians, carnivores, and everyone in between – nothing says commitment like euphemistic meat references. Say it loud and proud with the I’ll Eat Your Sausage card. Just don’t serve it to your nan.

5. Magnificent Cock

Romance, but make it avian. And phallic. Celebrate your magnificent partner with the Magnificent Cock card. Warning: may cause uncontrollable cackling and possible rooster impressions.

6. Let’s Bang

Subtlety is for greeting cards that don’t come from us. For passion with punctuation, look no further than Let’s Bang. As blunt as your partner’s DIY skills and twice as effective.

7. I Love Your Big Rooster

We’re still talking about birds, right? Right? Celebrate barnyard love with the gloriously ridiculous I Love Your Big Rooster card. Perfect for chicken lovers and lovers who are chicken.

8. Awesome. Wow. (Hamilton Fans Unite)

If your relationship includes spontaneous musical numbers and passionate debates about the founding fathers, then the Awesome. Wow. card is a must. Bonus points for anyone who sings their vows.

9. I F***ing Love You (Either Way)

Sometimes love is complicated. But mostly, it’s just swearing a lot and sticking around anyway. Express it beautifully (and profanely) with I F***ing Love You (Either Way).

10. For the Clarkson’s Farm Fan

If your partner has ever uttered the words “I could totally run a farm,” then get them the Clarkson’s Farm Anniversary Card. Because nothing says romance like sheep chaos and oversized tractors.

11. Happy Anniversary, First Wife

Is it cheeky? Yes. Is it hilarious? Absolutely. Is it a legally binding admission of a second family in Cornwall? Probably not. Embrace the chaos with Happy Anniversary, First Wife.

Wrap It Up

Funny anniversary cards aren’t just for laughs – they’re for real love. Because anyone can buy flowers. But only the brave send a card that says “Let’s Bang” in Comic Sans. Explore the full collection here and find the card that says exactly what your heart feels – if your heart was a stand-up comedian with no filter.