How to Celebrate Leaving a Job or Getting a New One (Without Crying or Getting Arrested)
There’s something gloriously chaotic about work goodbyes. One minute you’re awkwardly signing a card next to someone’s illegible “best wishes,” and the next, you’re plotting a full-blown retirement party with more drama than the season finale of Line of Duty. Whether someone’s skipping off to a new job or retiring to a life of lie-ins and daytime telly, the event deserves a proper send-off—and no, Sandra’s sad cupcakes do not count.
We’re talking hilarious cards, bold statements, and the kind of celebration that makes HR both proud and nervous. Luckily, our mates at Prickly Cards have everything you need to turn that farewell from “meh” to “OH MY GOD, THEY DID NOT.”
Start With a Card That Slaps Harder Than Monday Mornings
- Sorry You're Leaving Because Your Boss is an Absolute Wanker
- Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Wee Donkey – You Got the Job!
- You're Escaping!
- TRAITOR! You Are Dead to Us
Host a Roast (With Just Enough HR Panic)
Plan a farewell roast filled with inside jokes and ruthless truths. Then end on a sentimental note with this card: It’ll Be Shit Here Without You.
Line of Duty Themed Send-Off (Because Drama)
Decorate the room like AC-12 and present Mother of God – You Got the Job!. Just make sure no one gets arrested.
Create a ‘New Job Survival Kit’
Include chocolate, earplugs, and the ultimate reality check: You Were Pretty Shit at Your Job Anyway.
Zoom Goodbye Bash for Remote Escapees
Host a remote send-off and deliver this gem: I'm Really Going to Miss Ignoring Your Emails.
Bring Biden Energy to the Bash
Go presidential with Bi-Den – Funny Joe Biden Leaving Card. Top tier. No notes.
For the “The Office” Obsessed Colleague
Host a “Dunder Mifflin” themed party and give them the Office Themed New Job Card. Michael Scott would be proud.
Say Goodbye with Unfiltered Sass
- Fuck Off Then, You Selfish Prick
- Bye Then, Shit Head
- You’re Leaving. Someone Cares. Not Me, But Someone.
The ‘Judas’ Party Theme
They left you. Betrayal. Drama. Give them Congratulations on the New Job, Judas. Biblical levels of sass.
The Retirement Send-Off: Legends Only
End It All on a High Note (Or Just Loudly)
Final Thought (Jeremy Kyle Voice)
Work goodbyes are like glitter: messy, emotional, and still stuck to your carpet six months later. Whether it’s heartfelt, sassy, or a bit of both, make it memorable with the right card and a healthy dose of humour.
