Bored of giving your man the same old "here’s a shirt you’ll never wear" or "smell vaguely less awful with this body spray" kind of gift? Darling, it’s time to spice things up. Whether he’s your long-suffering husband or your smugly gorgeous boyfriend, this guide will make sure he gets a gift he won’t forget—mostly because it’ll make his face go fifty shades of red.

We’re diving headfirst into a world of rude, cheeky, and downright filthy gift ideas, lovingly crafted by the team at Prickly Cards

1. Start with a Card That Screams 'I Fancy the Pants Off You'

Nothing says “I love you” like a card that makes your partner question all his life choices. Here are the top contenders from Prickly Cards—and yes, they’re as obscene as your browser history.

• “I Fucking Love You” Card
• “4 Out of 5 Men Get a Blow Job on Their Birthday…”
• “I Can Use My Tongue for More Than Just Sealing Envelopes”
• “I Can See You Cumming in My Hair Tonight”
• “Roses Are Red, Choke Me”
• “You Blow This, and I’ll Blow You”
• “Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Slut”
• “Happy Birthday to the D*ck I Love to Suck”
• “I Want You to Glaze My Hole”
• “This Card Entitles You to Anal Sex”
• “Thanks for All the Orgasms”

2. Pair That Rudeness With a Naughty Gift

Now that you’ve set the tone with a card that would make your nan pass out, let’s add a gift that says “I love you, and I want to make you question how we ever got here.”

🔥 Some cheeky ideas:

• Sexy Coupon Book – filled with filthy IOUs
• Custom Boxers – “Property of [Your Name]” hits different
  
• Naughty Treasure Hunt – leads to a very happy ending

3. Mix in a Little Sentiment (Don’t Gag, It’s Fine)

Here’s the twist: Just when he thinks you’re incapable of genuine human emotion, hit him with a gift that makes his dead heart beat.

💖 Sweet but sassy ideas:

• Custom Photo Book – with cheeky captions
• Love Letter With a Twist – end it with “P.S. Still better than your ex.”
• Spotify Playlist – sneak in something filthy for fun
• Memory Jar – mix filth and feels

4. Turn Gifting Into Foreplay

If he opens that “Glaze My Hole” card and doesn't immediately try to get lucky, dump him. Or tease him to the brink with these ideas:

• Gift-wrap yourself – lingerie optional (but recommended)
• No-pants day – it’s a vibe
  
• Make a naughty calendar – 12 months of chaos

FAQs – For the Filthy and the Curious

Q: Are these rude cards too much?
A: If you have to ask, you’re our kind of person. No, they're just enough.

Q: Can I give these to a new boyfriend?
A: If he laughs, he’s a keeper. If he clutches his pearls, run.

Q: What if my boyfriend’s mum sees the card?
A: Hide it better. Or let her see and assert dominance.

Last But Not Least…

Love doesn’t have to be all roses and overpriced watches. Sometimes it’s about laughing your arse off while handing your man a card that says, “Happy birthday, you filthy animal.” 

So go on, treat your husband or boyfriend to a gift that says:
“I adore you, I lust after you, and yes, I’ll probably traumatise you with this card.”

Need more spicy inspiration?
Check out the full collection of outrageously rude cards at PricklyCards.com – go on, you dirty rascal.