All right, festive friends! It's time to sprinkle a bit of cheeky country charm on your Christmas card game. Fasten your seatbelts, because we're about to take a joyride with none other than Jeremy Clarkson, straight from Clarkson's Farm, right into your Christmas celebrations.

The "Clarkson's Diddly Squat Christmas" A6 Card

Front: Envision this masterpiece – an A6 card graced by the grand motoring legend himself, Jeremy Clarkson. There he stands, in a Christmas hat that looks hilariously undersized atop his famous mop of hair, his expression a mix of grump and glee – classic Clarkson.

Caption: With a smirk that could outshine Rudolph's nose, Clarkson declares, "You're getting Diddly Squat for Christmas." It's not just a greeting; it’s a promise, a playful nod to his famed farm shop, and a humorous twist on the usual festive cheer.

Inside: As blank as Clarkson’s knowledge of crop rotation. This is your space to get creative, sentimental, or continue the jest. Whether you’re jotting down a heartfelt message or a cheeky retort, the inside of this card is your canvas.

Perfect For: This card is tailor-made for fans of Clarkson, lovers of his farm misadventures, or anyone who appreciates a good laugh with their log fire. It's for those who like their Christmas with a side of sarcasm, a dash of dry wit, and a hint of farmyard antics.

Wrap Up: So, if you're looking to send a Christmas card that's a bit different this year – something that packs a humorous punch and a touch of celebrity charm – look no further than the "Clarkson's Diddly Squat Christmas" card. It's the perfect way to say, "Happy Holidays, but remember, you're getting diddly squat!" After all, isn’t that what Christmas is all about? 

What you need to know:

- Printed in Manchester (UK) onto exceptionally high-quality 300gsm hammered cardstock
- Blank inside for your own message
- A6 size
- Comes supplied with a matching envelope in a polypropylene bag
- All cards are sent via 1st class post to ensure they reach you as quickly as possible

Check out our wider selection of funny and rude Christmas cards.

We can ship to virtually any address in the world. Note that there are restrictions on some products, and some products cannot be shipped to international destinations.

When you place an order, we will estimate shipping & delivery dates for you based on the availability of your items and the shipping options you choose. Depending on the shipping provider you choose, shipping date estimates may appear on the shipping quotes page.

Please also note that the shipping rates for many items we sell are weight-based. The weight of any such item can be found on its detail page. To reflect the policies of the shipping companies we use, all weights will be rounded up to the next full pound.

You may return most new, unopened items within 30 days of delivery for a full refund. We'll also pay the return shipping costs if the return is a result of our error (you received an incorrect or defective item, etc.).

You should expect to receive your refund within four weeks of giving your package to the return shipper, however, in many cases you will receive a refund more quickly.

This time period includes the transit time for us to receive your return from the shipper (5 to 10 business days), the time it takes us to process your return once we receive it (3 to 5 business days), and the time it takes your bank to process our refund request (5 to 10 business days).

If you need to return an item, simply login to your account, view the order using the "Complete Orders" link under the My Account menu and click the Return Item(s) button. We'll notify you via e-mail of your refund once we've received and processed the returned item.