Dive into the deep end of love this Valentine's Day with our whimsically charming card, inspired by the Amazon Prime movie 'Saltburn'! This A6 gem, crafted from heavy weight hammered card stock, not only feels luxurious in your hands but also exudes an air of elegance and quality. The front of the card proudly features the playful declaration, "Happy Valentine's Day - I’d Totally Drink Your Bath Water," set in a font that's as bold and cheeky as the message itself.

Accompanying this saucy statement is an enchanting picture of a bath, reminiscent of the one in 'Saltburn', turning the card into a mini canvas of romance and quirky charm. The bath, with its classic contours and inviting allure, symbolises the perfect blend of humour and love – ideal for those who adore a good giggle along with their romance.

But wait, there's more! The inside of this splendid card is a blank canvas, eagerly awaiting your heartfelt or hilarious message. It's your chance to splash your sweetheart with words of love, drenched in your own unique style. Whether it's a poetic verse, a cheeky joke, or a simple "I adore you," your words will surely be the pièce de résistance of this Valentine's Day masterpiece.

As you run your fingers over the textured, hammered finish of the card, you'll feel the quality and care that's gone into its creation. It's sturdy, yet sophisticated – much like the best of relationships.

This Valentine's Day, don't just send a card; send a statement of love with a twist of humor. Our "Happy Valentine's Day - I’d Totally Drink Your Bath Water" card is more than just a greeting; it's a memorable experience, guaranteed to bring a smile (and perhaps a blush) to your beloved's face. So, embrace the unconventional, celebrate your unique bond, and let this delightfully daring card do the talking!

All our funny and rude Valentine's Day cards for him and her are handmade to order.

What you need to know: 

- Printed in Manchester (UK) onto exceptionally high-quality 300gsm hammered cardstock
- Blank inside for your own message
- A6 size
- Comes supplied with a matching envelope in a polypropylene bag
- All cards are sent via 1st class post to ensure they reach you as quickly as possible

Struggling to find a Valentine's gift that suits your better half? We have a selection of funny and rude mugs for that special someone in your life.

At checkout, you can select your preferred shipping option based on your location – how very bespoke! We can ship to most corners of this fabulous planet, though occasionally an item might throw a tantrum and refuse to travel to certain places. If that happens, we’ll sort it and let you know.

However, due to those utterly thrilling new GPSR regulations (don’t worry, I didn’t know what they were either), we’re unable to ship to the EU or Northern Ireland at the moment. Devastating, I know – pour yourself a drink and blame bureaucracy! We’re working on a solution, though, so keep your fingers crossed and your spirits high!

This time period includes the transit time for us to receive your return from the shipper (5 to 10 business days), the time it takes us to process your return once we receive it (3 to 5 business days), and the time it takes your bank to process our refund request (5 to 10 business days).

In summary, wherever possible, we’re here to get your goodies to you – and we’ll do it with as much panache as we can muster. Happy shipping, my love! 🌍✨

Sometimes life doesn't work out the way we planned—like that time we tried to adopt a goat called Susan. If you've received something from us that’s not quite right (wrong item, defective, or simply cursed), fret not! Here's how our enchanting returns process works:

The Basics
You may return most new, unopened items within 30 days of delivery for a full refund. Yes, we will even cover the return shipping costs if the blunder was ours. We’re generous like that.

Timing is Everything
Now, refunds don’t happen in the blink of an eye, but they’re certainly faster than growing a bonsai tree. Most refunds are back in your hands within four weeks of you handing your package to the return shipper. Let me explain this magical timeline:

• Transit Time: The shipper brings your return to us, usually taking 5 to 10 business days. This journey is like a scenic road trip but with fewer snack stops.
• Processing Time: Once we receive your parcel, we’ll process your return in 3 to 5 business days. We take this seriously—no dawdling allowed.
• Bank Shenanigans: Then it’s over to your bank, which can take another 5 to 10 business days to process the refund. Why banks move slower than a snail on a lazy Sunday is beyond me, but we’re all at their mercy
  
  

How to Initiate a Return
It’s easy-peasy:

1. Log in to your account
2. Click the "Complete Orders" link under the My Account menu.
3. Hit the Return Item(s) button, and voilà, you’re halfway to refund bliss.

Once your returned item waltzes into our warehouse and we’ve done our thing, we’ll send you an email to confirm your refund has been processed. Pop the kettle on, check your bank balance, and prepare to be reunited with your hard-earned cash.

Any questions? Don’t hesitate to get in touch. Unlike some goats, we don’t bite. 💅